she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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