yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
