Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
