i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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