I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
