That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
