my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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