How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
