connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dignity is for republicans.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
