Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize