who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
FUCK WHALES
is it fun? or sober?
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