It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
