"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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