Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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