It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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