i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize