she was so not down for the gang bang
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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