I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
