whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
