you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
