I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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