Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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