garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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