i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
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