Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
