Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize