their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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