I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
