Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
