As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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