Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
When are your genitals available?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
