Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
