tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
