omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
