ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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