I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I bet he comes in French.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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