Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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