So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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