Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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