This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
