fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
