weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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