If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
do herpes really smell.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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