Nicole vs. Life
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
