I must be too annoying 4 u.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
