Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
