I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
PANTIES FOUND
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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