i think my tv is drunk
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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