P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
