My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
