Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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