i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
