It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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