You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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