I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
