i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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