It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
