Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
