So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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