So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
